marks,scars,time.++

have you ever wondered exactly what marks our time on this earth? whether its things youu accomplish, things you miss out on, or simply just the people around you? i have become convinced that its none of these. what marks out time here is our scars. our hurts and the wrongs done unto us. the pain we experience here, that pain that will make us stronger each and everytime we experience it. when the wounds occur, and the pain digs deep into your heart.. that pain? those scars? thats how we know we are alive, and thats how we know how well we lived our lives. i have many scars, i know where my life is markedd. i know where i need to work on things and how much harder i need to push myself.. i still have a ways. but hey, im still tryin.

++we must be willing to get rid of the life we have planned;as to have the life that is waiting for us..--joseph campbell
in my life i have always planned ahead, planned as far ahead as i could. because i lived in fear, fear of everything and in ways.. everyone. but now i see how important it is to take life as it comes. there are some things and sometimes when you need to plan ahead. but big plans only tend to make your life that much harder.. which is what i do not need. everything in our lives happens for a reason.. whether we planned for it to happen or not. realize that fear makes you stronger,don;t let fear make a decision for you, because fear?fear will take away what coulda been... and no one ever gets to see what coulda been.

++yourstruly//pbskids.

the ennnnd.

whats up boss?

OH MY>>>> 6 lbs, 15 oz, 20 in. BOSTON J HARTLEY. welcome home :)

emily allison conrad. you are amazing, you went through this like it was nothing. you are so strong. gee zah. i love you with all my heart, we used to have our ups... and our downs.. but now with this little man in the picture up is the only way to go. you are my very bestest bester and you ALWAYS will be. love you peacher. you know what emily... hahahhaaaaaa.

Listen to paigeebreannees Playlist

and you healed my broken heart.

you know that saying you don,t know what you have until its gone? well i can surely tell you that they are right. all my life i spent so many years being well stupid, typical me. this is extremely hard for me to talk about because i just can,t do it without crying, but here i go. i made a lot of mistakes in my life and although i wish i would have known then what i know now.. i wouldn,t go back and change what i did. because without those mistakes i wouldn,t have learned the things that i did. in my life i took everything for granted; i never thought anything would be taken away from me. but in july of 2009 my life when tumbling down.. fast. i was weak, and unable to speak.. my little heart was broken when i lost cooper, the little boy who was my best friend. a four year old boy.. who changed my life forever. and for him.. i am beyong thankful. it was the hardest trial i have ever had to face.. it has taken me a year to overcome. it has taken me sixteen years to find myself. cooper... i have you to thank for this; but i also have your mother, sister and father.. jana lynn you have changed my heart in so many ways i could never begin to explain.. you are the most amazing person i know and i love you with all my heart. and bear? you will change the world someday.. because you change mine every time i see you; and although i wish he was here sitting next to me.. i know he is up there watching over all of us. and that makes me smile, imissyouandcan,twaittoseeyouagain.

oh los angeles we leave you now,
at the setting of your skies
as we leave the comfort of your ground
with your angels we will fly

well you carried us in broken dreams
like a mother does her sons
we were scattered 'cross your dirty streets
we were dying one by one

and you helf us in your city lights
and we made our peace with lonely nights
and you healed our broken hearts

well they say the Big One's gonna come
and you will fall into the sea
we will know then that your work is done
and your angels will go free

and your angels will go free
and your angels will go free
and your angels will go free